Earth Day 2010

I woke up rather early this morning considering I was up rather late.....I didn't get to sleep until nearly 3am.....was on the phone with my "special friend" Brittany. I actually think this is the first I am actually writing about her. I have known her since Oct. of 2001. I rarely speak aloud about her around other people. I don't know why.....I guess I am just really a private guy......but yeah, anyway she is a great girl who has been there for me through some pretty tough times.
I am really liking Nickleback's song "Never gonna be alone" right now......I just really like the video too. Makes me love my daughter ten times more.....if u get a chance watch it, or listen to the song...........gonna go get some breakfast now. 'til next time, act like ya know!!!

April 20, 2010

Not alot on my mind right now.....it is around twenty after eight in the evening. I am just watching a little television and checking my email and what-not.....
I am waiting for mt daughter to get home from visiring her aunt's place. She has to take a bath and it'll almost be bedtime. I usually have something to say but as of right now I am really not much in the mood for typing anymore.....tomorrow I will be baxxk and I will think of something to say then.............GN

Not-so patentialy waiting

I have waited a real long time for something. Way too long for me to remember when I first started waiting. I believe that when I started my wait.....it was going to be quick, and the pay-off would be well worth it. But here I am....few years later.....and I am starting to question whether or not it is really worth all the BS I put up with. I am seriously frustrated with the situation.....I will write more about it later....right now I am going to spend a few minutes with my nine year old daughter........she will bring me back to a happy place..........Love you Aiden!!!

So many thoughts

These past few months, perhaps even this past year has been quite a difficult one for me. I am often feeling as though my mind will never stop and allow me a moment of innder peace. I could be laying on my bed in the dark.....all seems peaceful and calm.....but inside I am a mess. I am tired, scared, weak, angry, sometimes excited, and at times I do not even feel like myself. And, those are the times when I am most often happy......because I actually hate myself. Maybe "hate" is too strong a word.....I dislike the man I am most of the time.
I was once told (by a head doctor) that if I do not learn to love myself more, that it is going to be hard to get someone else to love me too. To that I say "Oh well."
I happen to know for a fact that there are a couple beautiful, fun, smart girls who love me very much.....their names are Aiden and Adrianna.

Anyways, I have not written anything on my blog for like a really looooooobg time....
I think I will start writing more, and also I am going to write from the heart, and I will not hold nack when it comes to things I want to say. So if you are reading this please feel free to bookmark this page and come back often to get my point of view on whatever is making news, or even just some ranting and raving from me. So in closing I will simply say........ELE........everyone love everyone